by Jim Cathcart
copyright 8-23-2007 All Rights Reserved

Circles, circles everywhere and all of them lead to outcomes.
Every group of people; a business, family, church, school or team has an “Inner Circle”. These are the people through whom the major results are achieved. In the White House, in Congress, in Harvard University, in the San Diego Padres and at Google…there are small groups of people without whom the whole enterprise would suffer.

Even small businesses have Inner Circles. It’s often Mom & Pop plus the most productive workers. As a sales person or a consultant, once you know who is in the Inner Circle of leadership then you know who to work with to affect major change in the organization.

In war, once you know the Inner Circle of your enemy then taking them out or removing their ability to function well is your key to victory. In sports it is the Inner Circle of certain talented individuals that inspire and lead the rest of the team to the championship. And you have an Inner Circle too. We all do.

Your Inner Circle consists of somewhere between a few and a dozen people. Groups larger than that are no longer “Inner” circles. Consider for a moment how many people you absolutely rely on in order to be productive each day. Regardless of their titles your Circle may contain; assistants, coworkers, your boss, a colleague, a key contact at one of your client companies, a supplier, a mentor or even your spouse. If any of these folks were to go away, your world and your productivity would reflect it right away. That’s what I mean by “the people through whom you produce your results.”

Take a minute and list the people in your Inner Circle. Keep it to twelve or fewer people. Don’t worry if it is only four or five people. Write down their names and their roles or positions in relation to working with or assisting you. Seriously, take some time and write them down right now.

Next, draw a “sociogram”, this is a format much like a graph or bar chart in which you put your name in the center and surround yourself with the names of the Inner Circle players. Think of a Hub (you) with spokes leading out to the others in a large wheel-like display. You are the one around whom the Inner Circle is organized and the spoke connecting you to each person represents your relationship with that person. Don’t bother connecting them to each other just yet. That’s for a later exercise.

Now do an analysis of three things about your Circle.
1. Examine the Mix of talents and viewpoints represented in this group. Is there a variety of complementary talents or does everyone seem to fit the same limited profile?
2. Notice the Individual Contributions each person brings to the team. What special qualities does he or she contribute? And…
3. Assess the state of your Relationship with each person. How well does that specific relationship work for both of you? Are you both committed to the success of the relationship? Do you tell each other the whole truth all of the time? Do you have a clear understanding of what you expect from each other? Do you have clear agreements to help you resolve potential conflicts?

The above analysis may be one of the most important thinking assignments you complete all year. After all these are the major players in your world and when you get everything right in connecting with them…success is imminent.

When every person in the organization is aware of his Inner Circle and then goes to work on improving; the mix, the talents and the relationships with each person…the organization improves almost immediately. After all, what is an organization but a group of people committed to a common cause? When you improve either the people or their relationships or both, you are bound to get overall improvement as well.

Try this exercise with your own Inner Circle and then go back to my earlier article on “Relationship Intelligence”. Increasing the Relationship Intelligence of each Inner Circle is the quickest way to improve Teamwork, Productivity, Collaboration, and Innovation.

by Jim Cathcart
copyright 8-23-2007 all rights reserved

Relationship Intelligence…at Work is the working title of a new book I’m creating with Dr. David Ryback. Here is the premise: Intelligence takes many forms. We’ve all been familiar with Intelligence Quotient, IQ, and in recent years such concepts as Emotional Intelligence and Social Intelligence have been popularized by Daniel Goleman among others.
We’ve stopped asking the dysfunctional question “How Smart Are You?” and begun to ask the more useful question, “How Are You Smart?” There are multiple “smarts” as Howard Gardner, Robert Sternberg and Thomas Armstrong have shown us in their books: Frames of Mind, The Triarchic Mind and Seven Kinds of Smart, plus their subsequent works. We now accept such concepts as: Intellectual Bandwidth, Physical Intelligence, Interpersonal Intelligence, Musical Intelligence, and more.

I’ve found, in my work with over 2,600 audiences over the past 30 years of teaching, consulting and lecturing, that there is also such a thing as “Relationship Intelligence”. This is the capacity for understanding and operating successfully within the context of a multitude of human relationships. Individuals with a high Relationship Intelligence (RI) have much greater success in all types of dealings because they see beyond the momentary human interactions to the desired outcomes of the relationships. This is not just “people skills”, it is understanding human interaction within the context of continuing communication and commerce.
It is, as I say in my works on Relationship Selling (tm), seeing Relationships as ASSETS and managing them accordingly.

The business community has come to embrace this concept more and more each year. One tool that has helped in this respect is CRM software. Customer Relationship Management systems have become so commonplace that an entire subculture has grown up around them. They now have international conventions strictly for the exploration of concepts and practices that establish, expand and sustain relationships over time.
What used to be simply a Rolodex of information, or a “data base” has now become a complex system among systems for keeping people connected. We’ve advanced into understanding and anticipating people’s needs and interests so that it is today virtually a science.

Here is The RI Formula (c): Relationship Intelligence equals Awareness Factor times Communication Skill over Desired Outcome.

RI = AF x CS / DO

The “Awareness Factor” consists of reading people and reading situations, in other words: Emotional Awareness and Context Awareness plus Self Awareness.
AF = EA + CA + SA.
“Communication Skill” as used here consists of self presentation (self expression) and adaptability quotient. Adaptability Quotient measures one’s capacity for adapting to differences in people and changes in circumstances. CS = SP + AQ.
All of this is meaningless until you factor in the Desired Outcome.
A relationship with no desired outcome is not a relationship at all. It is simply a momentary exchange between people. Add a desired outcome; such as a business agreement and suddenly the expectations and requirements on both parties reach a much higher level.

For example: when two people make eye contact in a hotel lobby (in the USA) it is natural for them to smile, say “hello” or acknowledge each other in some way. That is not a relationship. Assuming they ride together on the elevator and exchange comments on the weather, they are still simply in “transaction mode” re: each other. But let’s assume that they soon discover that they are both headed for a boardroom wherein they will be introduced to each other and engaged in a discussion of a new business agreement, then a relationship develops.
Once they make this discovery their dialogue will take on a new dimension. They will become significantly more interested in each other. They will listen more carefully, interact more intentionally and take the entire experience more seriously. This is because they are now “invested” in the relationship. Meaning, if it goes well they stand to gain something and if not they stand to lose something.
In a business scenario this usually revolves around money and in a social scenario it revolves around feelings.

The more Relationship Intelligent each party is the more likely the relationships will be successful. If one is Emotionally Aware, meaning they understand feelings and the factors that affect feelings, then they’ll tend to be more sensitive to others and better at tact, diplomacy, persuasion, etc.
If they are Context Aware then they will understand that the situation is part of the relationship. Dealing with a CEO is not the same as dealing with a receptionist. Dealing with an urgent situation is not the same as dealing with a routine one. And so on.
To be Self Aware means to know how you come across to others and to understand what is going on within oneself. If you don’t know you, then chances are that you don’t understand others very well either. It is vital to “know thyself” as Socrates told us. This leads to self acceptance and self improvement.

Assuming a high Awareness Factor, the next category is Communication Skill. Just knowing is not enough, people must also be able to USE their knowledge to achieve an outcome. Communication Skill is Self Presentation, the ability to effectively express one’s ideas and listen well to responses, plus Adaptability Quotient. AQ is the combination of knowing how to communicate differently with different people and knowing how to adapt to changing situations. One might be great at getting along with people of all types but unable to cope with change and consequently they’d be handicapped in that relationship. Likewise the reverse, we can be good at adapting to change but inflexible in dealing with people and encounter many obstacles to success.

All of these are learn-able skills. You can learn to notice more and thereby increase your awareness. You can learn to listen well and communicate clearly. You can learn to read people and know how to customize your responses to the way each person would best receive your communication. Also you can learn to cope with and adapt to change.

What Relationship Intelligence does, is, for the first time, it puts all of these elements into context. It shows how they interact and combine in ways that will achieve the Desired Outcome.

The organizing factor here is the Desired Outcome. One simple way to make your relationships more productive today is simply to restate and agree upon the Desired Outcome at the beginning of each dealing. Just say, “To put today’s discussion in context let’s review what we are hoping to achieve through our dealings.” Then as each person states and clarifies their hopes and goals, you increase the focus and eliminate much of the irrelevant discussion.

Watch for more on this topic and please let me know your own interpretations of this message. This message is available as a speech or seminar and I’ll happily work with your organization to increase the RI of your people and your departments. Stay tuned!
In Spirit of Growth,
Jim Cathcart
www.relationshipintelligenceatwork.com

by Jim Cathcart

Situation: most people don’t seem to live very much.
They work, they survive, they amuse themselves, but they die without having ever fully lived. Current statistics on heart disease, obesity, hours of TV watched daily and weekly, lack of exercise, etc. are quite distressing.

Likewise there has been a decline in intellectual growth. Schools have de-emphasized excellence in academic achievement and focused too much on social “comfort”, trying to assure that nobody is offended or caused to feel inadequate. In doing so they have assured that many will in fact become inadequate when it comes to being able to direct and control their own lives.

Spiritually there has been a relaxation of standards as well. Character, once the cornerstone of education, is now relegated to a catch-all category that places more emphasis on “honoring diversity” than it does on doing the right thing. Integrity has given way to conformity and non-offensiveness. We have come to view the mere mention of religion or God to be an intrusion on the sensibilities of the nonbelievers.

Our connection with nature seems to still be there but between speed tourism and X games sports there isn’t much sense of presence in the setting or quiet enjoyment of nature. “Nice river, I wonder if it has any number 5 rapids. Let’s kayak it!” Naturally there is a place for bungee jumping and skydiving in life, but it’s place number two or three, not the first place.

Socially we seem to be comparatively better off. We do, as a society, get together a lot. Unfortunately, much of it centers around watching TV or movies more than interacting. The social protocols of greeting cards, thank you notes, hostess gifts, and the like have been relegated to the more sophisticated and older segments of society.
As we urbanize more we also desensitize too. We often fear our fellow citizens as potential criminals and rage against them for the slightest misstep, as in “road rage.”
We have become a society of people who often live near each other without ever becoming “neighbors.” Many of us cannot name the families that live on either side of us or across the street. More “community” or “communing” is needed among us.
Electronically we seem addicted to staying connected. We disassociate from our surroundings while talking on the cell phone or sending instant messages. And those we are talking with are often the same people we just left a few minutes before. We now consider cell phones a necessity and a vital safety tool instead of a new convenience.

Financially we seem to be split between the entrepreneurs and the employees. The latter often focus on entitlements and use the legal system as a way to “get even” for perceived injustice or sometimes even mere inconveniences. Instead of finding meaning in their work and resolving problems as a part of life, they look for big rewards to pay for minor setbacks.

Nor are we a particularly emotionally mature society. We see frequent examples of our leaders behaving as rude, spoiled children. The press shows our leaders defaming our president and other top officials. City council and school board meetings often disintegrate into verbal slugfests. Insults and accusations of depravity, dishonesty, etc. are commonplace.

The media is at the core of our dilemma. We have permitted it to become a source of indignation rather than information and inspiration. The people who drive the media seem addicted to a degenerate view of life. They assume that sexual predators are all around us, and that everyone who makes a mistake or a bad decision deserves to be fired or put in prison. They take stories that are sensational (usually about a media personality) and fill the airways with minute by minute updates as if it mattered to the rest of us. They insist on our right to know, even on things we have no desire or need to know. And they lie. Many big stories that are believed by many yet today, were disproven completely many years ago.

On the positive side: we know more and have access to more than ever in human history. We CAN live more fully and effectively, we just haven’t done so very often.

Healthcare is the best ever. And more people have access to it than ever. Government programs and insurance coverage provides access to amazing scientific technology never before seen by middle income people.
Health information is the best ever too. More doctors are now treating patients instead of diseases. One doctor in Oklahoma had a “shingle” that read “Dr. Jane Doe, Women’s Diseases”. Wouldn’t you prefer to go to one who focused on “Women’s Health”? Wellness, fitness, nutrition, studies by the Heart Assn, Cancer Society, and others have informed us as never before. There are wellness centers, resorts, fitness centers, personal trainers, American Council on Exercise, walks and marathons for charity, climbing walls, pilates classes, spinning, jazzercize, stretching classes, and dance exercise. On TV Dancing With The Stars has made us aware of the fun and beauty of performance dancing, and shown how much fitness it requires.

Learning is the best in history. Learning Annex, Phoenix University, Online Education, and other forms of adult learning abound. Video Professor shows us how to easily master the use of our computers. There are step by step self directed courses on Outlook, Excel, Word, Windows, etc.

The internet has become the neighborhood for many of us. It is the new main street of our village and the Mom & Pop stores of the past are now browsed via our computer 24×7. Our society is changing dramatically.

We can start a dialogue online today and be connected with people of similar interests in India, China, Europe and Canada within 24 hours.
And the information is FREE!

We can learn how to solve a problem by going online while the problem is still occurring! Emergency needs are met instantly in many cases.
People can get good guidance financially, interpersonally, psychologically, and scientifically in no time.
The answers are there for us, all of us. The internet doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care.
Anyone can find a way to connect with anyone else in the world in a short period of time.

We have appliances and conveniences never before known to mankind. Our interstates have live updates posted on huge signs. GPS systems show us where to go and when. Satellites send us hourly weather photos and we can Mapquest our way to anything, and even see an aerial photo of someone’s home or office. Our homes are intelligent now as are our cars and offices. Our laptops and hand held computers and phones give us possibilities never before seen or even suspected by most of us.

And every human record has been and continues to be broken by someone new.
Grocery stores are filled with fresh foods from all over the world. And health standards assure the safety of the foods. Exceptions are corrected rapidly. Yet still many people have diets consisting of 90% of the same foods they always ate. The abundance around them goes unnoticed by many.
Bookstores are filled with answers, solutions, stories, facts, and fun for all ages. Affordably.
TV provides a gateway to the world for all of us. We can electronically visit any place on earth. And we can often go there too. Travel companies have made global travel affordable to many. Yet there are still people who have never boarded an airplane or left the city they live in. Potential is immense for all of us.

So, why should someone learn how to live more fully? Because that is their genetic assignment.
The goal of all living things is to live more fully. To be fruitful and multiply, to thrive, to grow, to expand, and to do.
Emerson said, “Desire…is possibility, seeking expression.”
Christ said, “I am come that they would have life. And have it more abundantly.”

H
appiness is best found, not in momentary amusements, but in meaningful achievement. It’s not the sugar that gives us joy, but the protein.
When we do things that have meaning, when we love, live, serve and savor, we experience joy.
That can never come from a bottle or a pill or a stolen reward. It only comes from Really Living!