At a seminar this past week I heard multiple speakers tell of their struggles with self-doubt and low self-esteem. They were understandably cautious and many had experienced abusive relationships, emotional abuse, horrific experiences with violence and even combat trauma. But, on the surface, they all appeared to be quite well adjusted, happy and proactive. How many of us struggle with such demons in our own lives each day?
I’ve been bullied, humiliated, betrayed, falsely accused, fired, threatened with guns and knives, and even beaten in the past. I’ve had prostate cancer, heart and vision problems requiring surgery. I’ve lost hundreds of thousands of dollars and failed at multiple endeavors. So, I get it as to what fear, weakness and discouragement feel like. But I’ve also had some of the greatest mountain top success experiences in my industry. Starting as an unskilled facilitator leading other people’s training courses, I spent years driving for hours to small meetings in strange and unpleasant places in order to deliver a presentation. In the years 1973-4-5 I delivered 400 free presentations on weekends, at night and on holidays to civic clubs after putting in a full day’s work at my “real” job as a government clerk. Self-doubt was my constant companion.
I didn’t doubt whether I could “someday” succeed, but I sure wondered how long and hard I’d have to work in order to finally “make it.” You see, there is only ONE factor that determines whether you become successful. One, only one. When you Decide to succeed, your success is assured. It will happen. When and how much it takes, those are variables that can’t be known in advance. But “whether” you succeed is determined the moment you commit to ultimately making it happen. All you have to do is never stop trying. Keep on showing up and doing your work.
For me, without a college degree, high IQ score, access to money, athletic ability or influential friends, it didn’t seem that I had much going for me except the strong desire and willingness to do the work, “pay my dues”, to earn success. But one thing was clear to me: I wanted to become a “National Expert in the field of Personal Development.” Ever since that fateful day in 1972 when I heard Earl Nightingale on the radio, I somehow knew that I wanted to do what he was doing. At least, what I thought he was doing. I had never been to a convention, heard a professional speaker nor read any books on Personal Development.
Earl’s radio message that day was simply this, “If you will spend an extra hour each day studying your chosen field, you will become an expert in that field in five years or less.” Well, one hour a day, five days a week, fifty weeks a year for five years is 1,250 hours! If you study one subject that much, of course you will become an expert. The narrower the subject, the more rapidly you will advance. Studying Real Estate for five years will do some good, but studying “Rental Strategies in Commercial Real Estate in the Western USA” will take you way farther along that path.
Apply this to your field. Are you in Banking? What vital sub category could you specialize in? Retail banking practices for Small Businesses? Are you in the Music business? How about focusing on one niche like: Solo Acoustic Performances or How to Fill an Arena with Paying Customers for Musical Events? Health Care? More targeted might include: Fitness Best Practices for Professionals over 40. The narrower the niche, the faster you will advance in it. Pick a Lane!
When you hear those old judgmental comments from your past, focus instead on doing the work. Don’t entertain thoughts or feelings of self-doubt. The world is discouraging enough on its own without you piling on as well. Interrupt the pattern! Pause, change your focus and get back to working on what you want instead of what you fear or doubt.
You Are Good Enough! You Always Were. Your Creator didn’t err in making you. You were Intentional. You’re here to make the world better. Follow your heart and spirit, not your feelings and fears. Anytime you feel badly about yourself, STOP, redirect, and do something nice or helpful for someone else. When you are doing something for someone else there is no space for you to worry about yourself. Our job isn’t about focusing on Self. It’s about serving others, making the world a bit better each day. Self-Improvement is simply the act of acquiring the Skills, Knowledge, Understanding, and Experience to do what your spirit truly wants to do. Be the best You that you can be!
